Pet the Kitty
by Kagu-tsuchi-13
Summary: After finding out that Sam has been petting her kitty at night, Cat has only one thought on her mind—to get to play with the kitty as well. Because as much fun as it is to play with your kitty alone, it so much better when you have someone to do it with you.


Cat had not exactly been thrilled when she was forced to share the only bedroom (which she still believed to be rightfully hers), but—much like diet soda and alternative rock—the idea grew on her. And now she might even be as inclined to say that she was grateful that Sam had taken half the room. Because if she had to share a room with anyone, it might as well be with the girl who was tough as nails and did not appear to possess any discernible fears. That meant that Cat could always go to sleep knowing that burglars and/or monsters wouldn't get her.

But there were still some things that she did not care for concerning sharing a room. Such as how Sam always ate snacks in her bed—loud snacks like potato chips and pretzels. Or the fact that Sam kept muttering in her sleep about how there were no more Fat Cakes. Which was true—the company had gone bankrupt thanks to union strikes or something; Cat didn't really understand (plus she hated Fat Cakes, not that she would ever let Sam know that).

Though there was one thing, above all, that irritated Cat. It was what Sam sometimes did, usually around midnight or later. Cat didn't know what it was called...Or why Sam did it for that matter, but she did know that it riled Sam up—a lot. So much, in fact, that Sam would start groaning. Her groans started out soft, but they grew louder the more time passed. And then, after all that groaning, Sam would yell out some nonsensical words for a second or two and immediately doze off (Cat could tell by her snores alone).

Cat had been more then tempted to ask Sam what she was doing (and more importantly why she did it) but could never bring herself to do so, figuring that if Sam wanted her to know about her nighttime ritual then Sam would have told her personally; Sam Puckle wasn't exactly the most enigmatic of people, after all.

And that would have been the end of the whole thing...had it not been for what Cat discovered when she was searching the web for information on Ancient Mayan architecture.

She had just finished an article about Machu Picchu—which, much to her disappointment, was not a buff Pokemon—when she came across a link to a forum, and never being one to pass up a chance for a rousing debate, she clicked on the link.

The forum had been pretty standard: discussions, arguments, name calling, links to websites that told you you could win a new PearPad if you entered your credit card information. None of that had interested Cat, but something else did—a section where you could ask questions.

She had wasted no time in making an account and submitting her question about what it was that Sam was doing at night, and it took only two minutes for her to get a response. And what a response it was. It was just one word, but that word packed a whallop:

_Dumbass!_

Her feelings had been hurt...immensely, and that had caused her to take action: in the form of typing up a reply to shame him and make him feel bad for his mean words. But, being her clumsy self, she ended up accidentally hitting the refresh button in the midst of typing. And once the page finished reloading, she learned that she had obtained eight additional replies.

They were mostly the same as the first—a form of insult. Except for one. One person had actually taken the time to answer the question:

_I don't know if this is a troll or not but your roommate is petting her kitty._

The first part had confused her. How could she be a troll? Trolls had long, colorful hair and wore cute outfits. And her hair—while brightly colored—did not stick up the way trolls did.

The second part, on the other hand, had filled her tiny body with excitement. Sam had gotten a kitty; it was just what Cat always wanted. Her parents would never get her one—something that she thought was mean, especially considering that it was practically an obligation to own a cat if it was your name.

She ended up searching almost the entire house for it, thinking that Sam was hiding the kitty somewhere. She had tried all the obvious places first: refrigerator, toilet tank, toaster—all that were devoid of the animal. She then tried some more places before finally taking the plunge and looking in Sam's underwear drawer; it had been a long shot, but she had also considered that Sam could be using her undies to keep the little kitty warm. But after searching through a pile of boxers and lady briefs, Cat failed to find it, though she did find an oddly shaped purple stick that buzzed (and tasted weird).

That had also been the last place that Cat had looked, as she had heard Sam's motorcycle pull up, and even she knew better than to be caught snooping around in Sam's things.

That night she went to bed feeling like a sad panda. A sad panda with no kitty to snuggle with.

X—X—X—X—X

"Here kitty, here kitty," Cat called out as she scurried around the bedroom on all fours, hoping that it was hiding somewhere. She did two full laps around the bedroom with no success. "Dangit," she said as she stood back up and dusted off her pants before grabbing her backpack and leaving the room.

Once in the kitchen, she went to the fridge for juice. She passed by Sam, who looked to be busy at work—a giant piece of ham in one hand, a large knife in the other.

"Shit," said Sam as her knife went into the pork. "Goddamn cheap cutlery." She dropped the meat on the table and pierced the knife into it and left it like that, making it look like that sword from the movie that was apparently based on a book.

"What's wrong?" Cat asked as she retrieved a mixed berry juice box from the fridge and used her posterior to shut the door while simultaneously attempting to get the straw into the tiny hole.

"I'm trying to chop up this ham so I can blend it into a ham smoothie." Sam did not advert her gaze as she pulled out the knife and pierced the ham again. "But this damn knife isn't letting me."

"Why would you want to blend a ham into a ham smoothie?"

Sam glanced up. "Why would I not want to?"

You couldn't beat that logic.

Cat didn't say anything else as Sam tried and tried again to cut up her meat, with little success. Finally Sam just pushed it away and slumped down on the counter.

"Screw it, I guess I'll just have to chew my ham...like a barbarian," Sam said, and then tore off a piece with her bare hands and did just that. As she (loudly) chewed, she looked over at Cat. "Want some?" She held out a piece of her half eaten ham—with highly palpable teeth marks and slobber.

Cat took a sip of juice. "No thank you." She tried to be as polite as possible, not wanting to let her know that already eaten on ham covered in slobber was about the least appetizing thing in the world, save maybe a fish sandwich from the Grub Truck.

"Suit yourself." Sam went back to eating while Cat just stood and watched, occasionally taking a sip of juice. Cat had always thought that Sam looked like a ravenous animal when she was around meat—much like the coyotes that attacked her brother the time that he was walking around with pants full of pastrami.

"Can I ask you something?" Cat asked all a sudden, surprising herself as much as she surprised Sam.

"Depends. Will this question have any follow up questions—as in ones that will make me bang my head against the wall in agony?"

Cat shook her body slightly as she comprehended what her friend just said. Finally she decided to go the easy way. "Nooo." She spoke in her oh so innocent, "please Mommy, can we stop for ice cream" voice; only a few were immune to its power.

"Fine." And it looked like Sam was not among those people.

Cat smiled brightly and said, "Do you play with your kitty after we go to bed?"

The look that Sam gave her right after that was said...Cat couldn't quite place it, though the closest that she could think of would be the time that her parents went out of town and her and her brother had a yard sale—were they sold all the useless stuff in the house, like the furniture. Cat could still perfectly visualize the expressions on her mom and dad's faces when they came back to an empty living room.

"What did you say?" Sam's eyes bulged to the point that they looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets.

"I asked if you play with your kitty when we go to bed." Cat didn't get what was so hard to comprehend about the question; it was rather straightforward.

"Dude!" Sam said, raising her voice loud enough to make Cat back away at least a foot. "You don't ask someone a question like that. That's my fuckin' private business!"

Cat held her head down. She didn't like it when someone was agitated at her...especially not her new best friend. And as much as she tried to refrain herself, she could feel her eyes begin to shine.

"Dammit, Cat," Sam said, "come on. Don't cry."

"I'm not," Cat said, fighting a whimper. "I just wanted to know if you did. You don't have to be a gank about it."

Sam let out a loud groan...so loud that Cat could feel a ripple in the air. Sam then started shuffling in circles, occasionally looking over at Cat, seemingly torn over whether or not to answer; it made Cat more than a little off-put. Why would anyone be so embarrassed to admit to doing it? Kitties were so cute and fluffy. Cat would love to tell everyone that she played with her kitty. She would tweet it, in fact.

"Yes," Sam finally said. "Yes, I play with my kitty when I can't fall asleep."

Cat instantly perked up. She was glad that Sam admitted it, but she still had one more question to ask her.

"Do you think that I could play with it?"

The expression that Sam had a minute ago paled into comparison to the one that she had now. Her face was twisted, her eyes were blank, her nostrils flared. She looked as if she had eaten a lemon while touching an electric fence and fighting a monstrous sneeze all at once. Ordinarily it would be a humorous sight, though not now, not when Cat could sense the hostility that Sam was radiating.

"Sam?" Cat said, after Sam had failed to say anything for over a minute. When Sam again did not speak, Cat added, "Can I at least see it?"

That earned a response...in the form of a sort of bray—like the sound the donkey at the petting zoo made whenever someone stuck their hand out to feed him pellets. "You sound like Fredward after our third date," Sam said, though it sounded more like she was talking to herself than Cat; the way she kept glancing off into the distance, smiling just slightly as she did. It made Cat believe that she had gone off into her own little world—something that she could relate to.

A few more minutes went by with Sam out of the loop. Cat passed the time by making and eating a slice of toast that she covered with peanut butter and slices of banana. But once her toast—minus the crust, she hated it—was devoured and Sam still hadn't said anything else, she decided to just head on to school.

And she had been halfway to the living room when Sam (loudly) cleared her throat and made her look back over at her friend, who taken to generously applying a glaze of chocolate syrup over the ham.

"I'm going to pretend that this conversation never happened," Sam said, and then turned her focus to her (disgusting) concoction.

"Kay kay." Cat did her best to hide her disdain. It looked like she was not going to get to play with Sam's kitty...or even be allowed to see it for that matter. Why Sam was being so selfish with her kitty was a mystery. But whatever, Cat decided. It was Sam's loss. They could have had so much fun playing with her kitty...together. Because as much fun as it is to play with your kitty by yourself, it is even better when you have someone to do it with you.

X—X—X—X—X

The first half of the school day seemed to fly by. Before Cat knew it, she was sitting at her usual table at the Asphalt Café, her school chums all around her, minus one. Tori had scored an audition to be in Pink's new music video, and—as per Hollywood Arts standards—you could always get an excused check-out for an audition.

Though Cat wished that she was here—Tori's absence seemed to upset the order of the balance. Not a single person was livid with group conversation. Beck and André kept to talking with one another about sports or something, while Robbie tried (unsuccessfully) to be apart of the discussion. Jade, meanwhile, was immersed in texting someone, having done so since she sat down, and only stopping to pick up and eat a chili-fry. And Cat would be lying if she said that she wasn't upset—she already hung around the gang less, thanks to her duties as a babysitter; it pained her to tell her friends that she couldn't hang out at Nozu or Tori's house because she had to watch someone's kid (and knew that there was no way that Sam would do the job by herself).

Now Cat had tried to chat up Jade, but every time she so much as uttered a syllable in Jade's direction she would get the "don't talk to me" palm. And she knew (from experience) to not argue with the palm, lest she want to experience a forehead thumping.

"Gotta piss," Jade said all a sudden as she rose up and pulled her legs away from the table. She turned her head down just slightly, looking at Cat. "Watch my phone, but mess with it and I will rip off your ears and sew them on another part of your body."

Cat stayed silent—sometimes the best response to Jade West was no response whatsoever—and watched as Jade walked away. She briefly looked to the guys, none who had reacted to Jade's verbal threat, then turned her focus to Jade's phone. There it was just sitting there. Sitting there being all inanimate and such. Doing nothing. Absolutely—

Jade's phone vibrated and made the buzzing noise. That could only mean that Jade had gotten a new text message. But who could it be from?

There was only one way to find out.

She stuck her arm out...slowly...carefully...then pulled it back. No, she couldn't—Jade would kill her, bring her back to life (via some type of voodoo magic), and kill her a second time.

Then again, she reasoned, it could be important—like in life or death. And she would be an irresponsible friend to not look.

Yeah, that was it.

Before she had a chance to debunk her own logic, she snatched up the phone and read the screen. And when she was sure that Jade wasn't behind her—pair of scissors in hand—she read it again, hoping that it would make more sense a second time.

It didn't.

_Maybe I need to read the rest,_ thought Cat, having accounted that reading just one text was like trying to start a book from the middle (which she often did; Harry Potter was even more confusing than usual when the first line was Harry being attacked a bludger).

Once she had gone into Jade's text in-box, she discovered that the text came from Vega: which could only mean Tori, seeing as Jade would never—under any circumstance—put Trina's number in her phone. There were a ton of messages, many from days ago. Given the fact that time was not on her side, Cat figured that it was wisest to start from the time that Jade had sat down for lunch, anything before that likely wasn't relevant, anyway.

_Miss u babe._

_Miss u more!_

_Impossible._

_Very possible!_

_U know wat I miss the most?_

_I have a hunch...but tell me anyway._

_Ur beautiful pussy...I ain't seen it since yesterday._

_Wat do u miss most bout my pussy?_

_Touching it...and rubbing it...and then diving in._

_Mhh, that's so hot. Can't wait 4 u to eat my pussy ;-}_

Cat had been excited at first—it seemed that Sam was not the only one who had a kitty, though she didn't know why Tori and Jade kept forgetting to put the word cat in their texts—and now was horrified. Why did Tori want Jade to eat a cute little kitty; what possible pleasure could either of them get from that?

She was about to ask the guys, but she heard Jade screaming at someone, meaning that she was on her way back here, and Cat knew better than to be caught holding a smoking gun. She quickly set Jade's phone back to the way it was, leaving no evidence that she had ever been reading Jade's texts, then shoved a large fork full of salad into her mouth and chewed intently. And she kept up this farce even as Jade sat back down and did a once over with her piercing blue-green eyes.

"You mess with my phone?" Jade asked, her voice filled with suspicion. Her words made the guys look up, each of them sporting a worried expression on their face.

But Cat, who had a mouthful of salad, just shook her head. She hated lying, but she hated getting beat up and/or tortured even more. It made her ever so grateful that Jade seemed to accept her (lack of) response as the truth and went back to eating and texting.

_Close one,_ Cat thought, and then internally sighed with relief. But while she was glad that she slipped through the cracks of Jade's interrogating wraith, she was also upset that she couldn't talk to Jade about Tori's kitty...and what Jade planned to do with it after school. There was no possible way to bring it up without revealing that she read the texts, and that meant there was no way to keep Jade from eating it.

_Unless there is someone there to save it,_ said a voice in her head that sounded suspiciously like her brother.

_Who?_ Cat thought back.

_Seriously, are you for...come on! And our parents think that I am the crazy one...Gesh! You! You have to be the one to rescue the damn thing! Now do it!_

_Okie dokie._

Not even caring that the voice (that sounded suspiciously like her brother) just insulted her, Cat started formulating a plan. But she would need help...

X—X—X—X—X

Cat tapped her foot impatiently as she looked in every possible direction for Sam's motorcycle. She had told Sam to be here by 3:15...and it was 3:30 now. If she wanted even the slightest chance of beating Jade to Tori's house then she would need—

The loud reviving of an engine, as well as the screams of a few people, alerted Cat that her friend was here. And Cat wasted no time in shuffling down the steps and running to Sam, who had parked on the sidewalk, just barely missing some poor guy's foot.

"You're late," Cat said, once she had made her way over and put her helmet on.

"Yeah, but I have a good reason—I didn't care," Sam responded nonchalantly, and Cat barely had time to get on the back before Sam was reviving up and taking off (and again barely missing the guy's foot).

Once they had traveled down a few streets, Cat said, "There must be a lot of deaf people out."

"What makes you think that?"

"Those people you keep cutting off have all been waving their middle finger at you—I wonder what it means?"

"I know exactly what it means," said Sam as she slowed down her bike, stopping just short of a red light (and a collision with the SUV in front of her). "So why did I have to put on pants and rush out here?"

"Jade is going to do something bad."

"The goth chick?"

"Yeppers."

"What's she going to do?"

Cat was about to tell her, but the light turned green and Sam shot out of there, passing the SUV and two cars—one whose driver gave Sam that same greeting that the others did. Cat made herself a mental note to find out what it meant—then she could start greeting her friends with it; they would just love that.

X—X—X—X—X

By the time that they arrived at Tori's house and Sam was able to find a parking space that she deemed acceptable, Cat was distraught to find Jade's signature green Camaro sitting in the Vega driveway; the very same one that had the license plate that read: FRAKU (which Cat had pointed out to Sam upon their sneaking into Tori's yard).

"Fredward loved that show," said Sam, snickering. She continued to look over Jade's car, appearing to admire its shiny green detail and black racing stripes.

Cat paid no mind to Sam and instead focused her attention on finding a way into Tori's room: the place that she deemed most likely to contain the kitty. She theorized that she still had a little time before Jade chowed down—kitties, like all animals, needed to be cooked, and that required preparation—though she also took into account that that window of opportunity was closing, quickly.

That was when it came to her. It was so obvious. The window!

"I know how we can get up there!" Cat declared loudly, and then began jumping up and down, feeling giddy for having been the one to figure it out.

"Dammit, keep your voice down, and what is it?"

Cat pointed up to Tori's room The sliding on the sole bedroom window was raised, leaving plenty of room for one or more persons to squeeze in. "There."

"Great idea, genius."

Cat smiled, at least until she realized that Sam was using a condescending tone, causing her face to fall flat. "Why won't it work?"

""Cause we got no way up...Not unless you can suddenly develop spider powers or somethin'."

Cat attempted to walk up the side of Tori's house—with no success. She then tried to shoot webs out of her hands—again with no success. She even went as far to run back and take a flying leap...and landed about a foot in front of her...on the ground...face first.

"Wow, couldn't believe that didn't work," said Sam's voice, and it might have been because Cat hit her head, but it sounded like it was off in the distance, thirty feet at least.

By the time that Cat had picked herself up and examined her body for any bruises or scrapes, she discovered that Sam had disappeared. Her first instinct was that Sam had ditched her—just as she was known for doing, but then she spotted her friend walking this way, a very long ladder in hand.

"Found us a way up," Sam said as she lugged the ladder and set it up against Tori's window.

Cat clapped her hands and smiled, glad that she had asked Sam for her help; none of the guys would have ever thought of something like that.

Cat started up first, Sam right behind her. She took each rung slowly, knowing they had to be careful: one wrong slip and either one of them could end up flatter than the frog that her brother found and then dropped a bowling ball on (they had been playing dodge bowling ball, according to him, anyway).

When Cat eventually made it to the window and peered the top of her head in, she got quite an earful in the form of:

"_Oh, god, yes! Please, Jade, eat my pussy!"_

Cat nearly lost her balance just from hearing that. She was too late! And even worse, not only was Jade eating that poor animal, but Tori was watching and encouraging her to do so. Even having observed the countless asinine acts that her brother had done on a daily basis, she had never been witness to something as appalling as this. And even though she couldn't save the kitty, she could still give her ex-best friends a piece of her mind.

"How could you guys?!" Cat said as she climbed inside so that she had a clear view of the action. However, it was not the kind of action that she had anticipated.

She had expected to see something along the lines of Jade clutching an oversized fork and knife and sitting in front of a platter that bore a cat cooked like a roasted pig, complete with an apple in its mouth. What she had not expected was to see a naked Tori lying on her back while Jade (who was clad in a black thong and nothing else) had her head between Tori's legs and did some odd gesture with her tongue.

Neither Tori nor Jade reacted right away, but then Tori opened her eyes...and screamed. And, of course, that made Jade break away from whatever it was she was doing and look up...and also scream, though her's was more of an angry scream, as opposed to Tori's startled scream.

"Cat...what the fuck?!" Jade demanded, venom in her voice. Her eyes were fiery, and Cat likened that if it wasn't for Jade's current position (and indecency) then she would have already rose up and reached for some type of sharp implement.

"I...I..." Cat tried to say something, anything, but couldn't. The only thing she could do was stand in place and jitter; it was like she was a chicken that had fallen into a vat of honey-barbecue sauce and then wandered into a cave of hungry bears.

And as if things couldn't get worse, Sam chose that moment to look in on their little scene. "What's goin' down, peeps?" And then she saw what was "goin' down" and had a reaction similar to Tori's. "What the hell?"

"Did you invite all of fuckin' L.A.?" Jade asked, groaning.

Tori grabbed the sheet, pulling it up past her exposed lady parts. "Cat, what are you doing in my bedroom?"

Cat reluctantly cleared her throat and spoke, her words coming out slower than pure maple syrup. "I read Jade's text and—"

"You what!" Jade said, using all of her lung capacity, then lunged forward, her hand clenched into a fist.

Cat knew whom Jade had her sights set on, and without even realizing it, she huddled on the ground—her way of showing weakness. Though this proved to be a mistake, as Jade had been swinging a haymaker at her at that very same moment, and when it missed Cat it hit the person standing behind her, the person who was standing on a ladder...And suffice to say, Jade's fist combined with a shaky ladder equals pandemonium.

"Fuuuuccckkk!" Sam screamed out as she fell backwards and a loud crash was heard.

"Ouch," said Cat, not moving from her fetal-like position. She hoped that Jade didn't have a second punch in her, otherwise she feared that she may end up joining Sam in wherever it was she landed.

Jade looked down, starring disapprovingly. "Get up."

Cat obeyed—out of fear—and sprung up, though she still kept herself on guard, knowing far too well what Jade was capable of, even without a weapon. She then just stood there, and try as she must she could not not help but take notice of Jade's...nakedness. The way her large breasts bounced up and down with every sharp breath she took. The way her—

"Quit starring at my girlfriend's chest," said Tori, presumably having taken notice of what Cat had been doing (Cat never had been known for her subtlety).

"Girlfriend?" Of all the shocking things that Cat had heard and/or observed that was definitely in the top three.

Jade let out a sigh. "A lot has been going on since you started spending all your time with blondie."

Cat looked from Jade to Tori and then back to Jade. Jade and Tori. Tori and Jade. How could this be? Since Tori first came to Hollywood Arts, Jade had gone out of her way to make Tori as miserable as possible. And now they were together? As in together together. It was like she was in a parallel universe were night was day, fish drove cars, and Frankie Muniz got steady acting work.

But before Cat could ask anymore questions, Tori's bedroom door was forced open and a very pissed off Sam Puckle entered. Already you could see the bruise where Jade's fist had made contact; there were also a few leaves and branches stuck in Sam's hair, meaning a bush must have broken her fall.

"You!" said Sam, her gaze directed at Jade. She roundhouse kicked the door shut (no doubt to prevent escape, Cat thought) and then charged, frantic fists swinging like a man possessed. Jade didn't even have a chance to blink before she was struck in her (naked) chest with a patented Sam Puckle powerhouse punch.

Cat squinted, not liking the violence (or Jade's nakedness); it was not a pleasant combination.

"Big mistake," said Jade, just before she grabbed Sam's arm and swung her, utilizing strength that would impress an Olympic shot putter. Sam was tossed into Tori's bookshelf—hard. The impact of her body caused a pile of (thick) books to fall and strike her one after the other. It was just like in the slapstick lessons that Sikowitz taught, often while using Gilligan's Island episodes for visual aide.

"Owie," said Cat.

"You can say that again," agreed Tori.

"Owie," said Cat again.

"That the best 'ya got?" said Sam as she rose up. She looked slightly off put—judging by the way she was staggering—but Cat knew that she could take far more punishment than that; Sam Puckle was a force to be reckoned with.

"I can go all night," said Jade.

Tori nodded her head. "She can."

Jade rotated her body so that she was looking at Tori. "Different context, babe." She accompanied her response with a smile—one that was much brighter (and more genuine) than the smiles that she sported whenever someone was in some type of misery. Cat did not know which was weirder: the fact that Jade called Tori "babe"; Jade smiling at Tori; or that Jade still hadn't made an effort to cover her bare breasts.

And just when it looked like Rumble in Tori's Bedroom was going to go to Round 2, a loud banging noise—which sounded like it was coming from the other side of Tori's door—startled everyone in the room and made them all look to see who or what was making it. Though they didn't have to wait long to find out...

"Tori, what the hell are you doing in there? Is Jade with you? You know what Dad said. He still has the pamphlets for boarding school. And if you go then I want your room—I can finally get the beauty salon that I deserve."

There was no mistaking Trina's voice and how it could echo through several inches of solid pine (or possibly oak); even Cat found it annoying at times—this time being one of them.

"You guys got to get out of here," said Tori, panic in her voice. "My dad will be home soon."

"I ain't goin' nowhere," said Sam, her fists raised. "I still gots some unfinished business to take care of." Her gaze was focused on Jade the entire time she spoke.

"My dad is a cop," said Tori.

"Be seeing 'ya." Sam practically bolted out of the room...and ended up ramming into Trina before she disappeared down the steps. The only other time that Cat had seen her move with such speed was when they were at a Chinese buffet and there was only one chicken teriyaki on a stick left.

Cat didn't say anything to her friends and headed after Sam, knowing that she had worn out her welcome...for the next five years.

"Cat," called out Jade, just as Cat had passed Trina, who was rambling about how it wasn't fair that Tori got to have orgies in her bedroom (whatever those were). "You do realize that I'm going to beat the shit out of you tomorrow, don't you?"

Cat swallowed hard. "I know." Oh how she knew.

X—X—X—X—X

Neither Cat nor Sam said anything on the way back or after they arrived home. There was so much that needed to be said, but Cat likened that neither of them wanted to be the one to initiate the conversation.

Cat mostly kept to her room. Every so often she would check on Sam, who was sprawled out on the couch, several junk food bags surrounding her while the T.V. blared some type of reality show, though she doubted that Sam was paying attention to it; who could after everything that went on?

And Cat might have spent the entire evening just pacing her room...She might have if it hadn't been for the doorbell ringing and Sam's voice calling out, "Get that!"

Never being one to argue with Sam, much less after what went down, Cat scurried to the door, though she didn't say her trademark "ding-dong." She just wasn't in the mood.

Upon answering the door, she immediately felt something large and heavy being shoved into her arms. It took all her strength (which wasn't much) to holster it up.

"You gotta hide this," said Dice's voice. "Goomer figured out my hiding spot, again!"

Cat was about to ask what it was that she had to hide, but she found her grip weakening, thereby forcing her to let the object drop—where it made a soft clang upon impact with the floor.

"Why am I hiding this?" she asked when she saw that the person that shoved it in her hands was Dice and not an evil voice stealing man with three nostrils—like the man in the Wayside book that she did a report on.

"'Cause these are expensive, and Goomer can go through a whole tin...for an appetizer. Seriously, if he keeps eating like he does then he'll never make weight for his fights. I mean I know he needs his energy and all but—"

Cat tuned him out and focused her attention on what it was that Dice wanted protected so badly. "Fancy assorted biscuit," she said, speaking the words as she read them. She looked at the picture, noticing that they did not look like any biscuits she had ever seen; they looked more like cookies. "What kind of biscuits are these, and do you eat'em with gravy or butter?"

"Those are British cookies—over there they refer to them as biscuits," informed Dice.

Cat giggled. "The British talk funny. They need to learn how to speak English."

Dice gave her a look—very similar to the one that her therapist gave her seconds before he yelled out that he was giving up therapy and jumped out the window. "Right...anyway, hide these for me."

"No can do," said Sam as she rose up, and no less than a second later was standing over the massive tin, a hungry look in her eyes. "I charge a fee for watching food related items."

"What kind of fee?" asked Dice.

"Fifty percent of the contents of whatever it is I am watching."

He shook his head and crossed his arms. "No deal."

"Then we ain't watching these."

He seemed to pout just slightly. "Cat was gonna do it—for free." He turned his attention to Cat. "Weren't 'ya?"

Cat found herself caught off guard. She didn't want to let Dice down, not after all the times he had helped them, but she also didn't want to piss Sam off further. Quite the dilemma.

Cat was about to say something relating to her brother (a trick she used to stall for time) when a gurgling sound rang out, saving her the trouble. She had heard that sound many a time, the majority being whenever someone at the Asphalt Café made the mistake eating one of the Grub Truck's "special burritos" (which according to rumors contained meat from an animal that you wouldn't see on a farm).

And judging by the way Dice started groaning and holding his stomach, it was a safe bet that he was the one making the sounds.

"Are you okay?" Cat asked, concerned.

"Ah man, my mom's tuna and liver casserole is fightin' with my intestines—and winning," Dice said while groaning. "Can I use your facilities?"

"It'll cost you three cookies," said Sam.

"Yeah, sure, whatever," he agreed as he made a mad dash for the bathroom, moving at an impressive speed for a guy with skinny quads.

"And don't look under the sink," Sam called out, slightly confusing Cat; the only thing under the sink was their tampons, and she was sure that Dice had his own and wouldn't steal theirs'.

The second the door slammed, Sam broke the plastic seal, tossed aside the lid, and helped herself to some cookies—Far more than three, noticed Cat.

"Get me some milk," Sam said after she inhaled ten or so cookies and started on an eleventh.

Cat was caught off guard but was so happy that Sam was speaking to her that she obeyed without question. She skipped all the way to the fridge and retrieved the jug, then went to the cabinet and got Sam's favorite blue glass, which she quickly filled to the near brim.

"Here 'ya go." Cat held the glass out to her friend, who had helped herself to even more cookies and was stacking them one on top of the other like a building with many floors (many delicious looking floors).

Sam said thanks...or at least it sounded like a thanks (it was hard to decipher when she had her mouth crammed full) as she snatched the glass and practically drained it—an act that caused milk to dribble down her chin and all over the front of her shirt, creating a rather amusing sight. And if Cat didn't feel like she was on thin ice, she might have commented on it.

But instead Cat took a cookie for herself, selecting one that was round and had some sort of red jam like center. And she had just taken a small bite of it when Sam said, "I could have taken her."

"Huh?"

"That goth chick—I could have taken her," said Sam. "I just didn't want to...because she was topless and fighting a topless chick is kinda gay."

Cat tried—and failed—to stifle a giggle. "You punched Jade's boob." That had been some image—one that Cat would never forget...no matter how hard she tried.

"Learned that move on my third trip to juvie—got me out of some deep shit, that it did." Sam nodded her head and smiled.

Cat finished her cookie and wiped away any crumbs that might have accumulated on her chin before clearing her throat and mustering up her courage. There was still something on her mind, and she knew that if she didn't ask now then she would never do so.

"Sam?"

"What?"

"You don't really have a kitty, do you?"

"Fuck!" Sam held her arms up—which also reminded Cat of her therapist. "How can you be this—"

"Stupid?" She just knew that Sam was dying to call her stupid, seemed just about everyone was.

"You aren't stupid," said Sam, and the way she said it made Cat believe that she meant it. "You're just...innocent."

Cat didn't know what Sam meant by that, nor did she know if that was just a watered down way of saying that she was, in fact, a dolt, simpleton, or ignoramus (all words that she had been called just last week; darn those mean fifth graders with their large vocabularies).

"So just to be clear—you don't have a kitty that I can pet?"

"Oh, I have a kitty that you can pet alright, but you'd have to buy me dinner first."

Like always, Cat wanted elaboration, but, again like always, someone prevented her from getting it; this time it was in the form of Dice, who had just left the bathroom, his shirt held up to his nose.

"I wouldn't go in there for a few hours...er...days if I was you," he said as he walked back to the living room. He had been only a few feet from them when he stopped dead in his tracks and fell to his knees. "You ate my cookies!" The way he was acting, thought Cat, one would think that his house had burned down.

"If it makes you feel any better, they aren't very good," said Sam. And then she grabbed another cookie..and ate it.

"Oh yeah, that makes me feel tons better," he said, sounding sarcastic (Cat never was one for picking it up). "Now I'm out twenty-five dollars! Plus tax."

Sam finished what was left of her milk and then went over to the old sugar bowl where they kept all their babysitting money (never trust banks to keep your money safe, Nona had told them both) and pulled out several bills. "You wanna make fifty bucks?" She held up the money, causing him to spring up and start panting like a dog.

"Yes," he said, looking to be on the verge of drooling.

"Can you get us booze and/or porn?"

"Yes and yes," he said without a moment's hesitation. Whether or not he was telling the truth Cat didn't know, but she did know that he would agree to anything if money was involved.

Though Sam appeared to take his response as a satisfying answer, as the next thing Cat knew she was dropping the money in Dice's (overly) eager palms and saying, "There's somethin' in particular I want, get that and the booze and I will let you keep whatever is left over." She whispered something in his ear, and whatever it was was enough to make his eyes go wide.

"Wow, I didn't know you were into that sorta thing." He had a very discernible grin plastered across his face—as if he had just learned that Bill Gate's was his long lost father; it made Cat desperately want to know what had been whispered to him. "I'll be back in a few hours."

"The sooner the better," said Sam.

"You got it, by the way, how'd 'ya get the bruise?" He pointed to the welt under Sam's eye: now dark purple in color.

"My friend Jade beat her up," Cat volunteered, though she regretted doing so when she saw Sam's facial expression twist into one of anger, possibly even infuriation.

"It was a stalemate...and I'd like to see you hit a girl who is standing there with her boobs out and flopping around everywhere."

Dice's eyes went wide again. "Man, I miss all the good stuff."

After Dice left, Cat asked, "Why did you tell him to get those things?"

Instead of answering, Sam picked up the tin of cookies (or what was left of the tin). She then grabbed the jug of milk from the counter. And with both items in hand, she scampered down the hall and stopped at the entrance to the bedroom. "'Cause you are gonna learn how to pet your kitty so you'll stop bothering me 'bout it." She went into the bedroom, the door being slammed moments later.

Cat did not know what to make of that statement. It was hard to believe that—at this very moment—she was actually more confused than when she got up this morning. So many unanswered questions. So few people willing to answer them. And worst of all...

...she still hadn't gotten to play with a single kitty!


End file.
